February 21, 2010

"Oh, That's Just the Way She Is"

Writing and thinking about hearing loss issues has got me thinking a lot about myself and my past. I am beginning to dredge up some painful memories. Some of them attributed to my hearing loss. And its funny how at the time I did not associate the problems to my hearing loss (of course partly has to do with my personality at the time). I never gave it much thought. Now I find myself thinking, "Oh, that's why I did that!" or "Oh, no wonder I behaved that way." It would have been so much easier if I had paid a little more attention to my hearing loss and learned ways to deal with it.

One of those painful memories: During high school, I was sitting in the library reading and some of my classmates walked by. They sat down at another table across from me. I looked up and noticed one them was sort of waving and looking towards my direction. I thought he was waving at someone else so I looked down and did not wave back. Why would he be waving at me? We barely speak to one another. Then I looked back up towards to them. They were quietly talking, the girl glancing towards me. I read her lips and heard her quietly say, "Oh, that's just the way she is." I quickly looked down back at my book. I was mortified.

I wanted to stand up and yell, "I did not know you were waving at me! I'm sorry. I am not a mean person, I LIKE PEOPLE!" But, I did not say anything and I silently cried inside. As usual, I pushed this incident aside and I never thought about it until now.

I realize that perhaps because of the way I socialized and did not help others be more aware of my hearing loss, I was perceived as a snobby cold person. The comment, "Oh, that's just the way she is," says a lot.

(e


4 comments:

  1. "When faced with an uncommon problem, people seek a familiar solution."

    I use this a lot when dealing with computer issues but the same thing applies to human relations. Most people don't take the time or effort to find out the why or if their assumptions are true. It's easier that way, at least for them.

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  2. Very well written.....I m having hearing loss and wht u hve written is 100% true in my case....All of ur other posts r really touching and can connect myself to all of them....- MilesToGo

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  3. Thank you for your kind words. :) I am glad that my posts have had an impression on others. It is nice to know that I am not alone in this and that I am not just wasting my time blogging.

    (e

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  4. Hi (e,
    You are definitely not wasting your time blogging. I've been really moved by your recent posts. I didn't experience hearing loss as a young person and I always find it poignant to read about it. I did have many awkward social moments so I can totally relate to what you're saying there.
    All the best,
    Sarah

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Keep it civil.