I would really like to be a part of the community again. I am interested to see who are still a part of this community, how much has changed, and which community I would fit in the most with. Is there still a strong Deaf Culture community here in my city? Or has it become more diverse (in terms of communication methodologies)?
The last time I attended a signing deaf community gathering was over a year ago. We met at a bar near where I live. It was OK, but I was stuck with this uninteresting woman who would not stop talking to me. Most of the other people at the bar seemed more interested in talking with each other. It felt very cliquish. I was like the nerd who was stuck with the boring freak who no one wants to talk to. I knew it had a lot to do with my sub-par signing skills. I can understand, though. I think if I went somewhere to relax and hang out with friends I would not want to really talk to someone with broken English. I would not feel like teaching someone how to speak my language. Maybe some other time, but not if I want to have a good time. It's harsh, I know. But, wouldn't most people feel this way?
So, I think I will make the attempt to join the signing deaf community again and see what is out there.
Does anyone have any suggestions for what I should do? How should I approach the communities? I was thinking of just showing up at as many events or gatherings as I can, and see what happens.
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Link to this post: http://ehwhathuh.blogspot.com/2010/05/getting-reaquainted-with-deaf-culture.html
Sorry that you had a bad experience with the deaf social event.
ReplyDeleteU need to be blunt with that deaf chatterbox and interact with other people. U need to be more assertive with other deaf people that you like to strike a conversation with. :)
RLM
Try getting acquainted with other Deaf people in your line of work, if possible. They can introduce you to more Deaf people and that way ease you into the community. Other ways: join a church with Deaf members or a Deaf civic group that is working toward a goal if they are in your area. In working on projects or interests in common, you certainly will be making friends.
ReplyDeleteI have no advice, but the divisiveness is so interesting to me. I went to a forum for parents of deaf/hoh kids and they passed out a list of "ground rules for discussion". It was like they expected fisticuffs. Meanwhile I've met most of the moms before and they're all about as easy going as can be. I guess there are some groups of people that would have had a rough time adhering to the mutual respect parts of our ground rules.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck ! I find you are in or you are out, and they demand constancy and regular interactions, if you cannot maintain a regular discourse or involvement with them, then it is constant effort on an occasional basis. Many deaf I know still do not accept you are part of their set up even after 22 years ! I did ask why, they said you don't socialise enough with us, and don't turn up at the meets we have. Yet I attend a club every week. I am not able to go here there and everywhere with them as I have like you, other commitments.
ReplyDeleteCommunication isn't the issue. dedication to be part of their social life was. They want friends there they can interact with at any time really, because it is such a contentious area to maintain them. It can vary club to club too, whilst you may be accepted in one club you may not be in another, and have to start all over again winning them over.
Cliques are entirely necessary for them, that way they protect their social base, which is all. If you can mange most of the time without their interactions, they will see that, may feel you aren't really interested in them.
Hey again,
ReplyDeletewhat area do you live in? i can redirect you to good people if i'm in the area.
I live somewhere in the south east. Email me please if you want specifics.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I love your blog, shefrolics!
Thanks!
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