Good Comebacks to Insults About Your Hearing Loss

If there is someone you know who continues to tease you or make insulting remarks about your hearing loss, what would be some good comebacks to these remarks?

First, it is important to understand whether the person is being mean or is honestly clueless about deaf and hard of hearing people. You don't want to insult the clueless, which can discourage them from interacting with you and other deaf and hard of hearing people. BUT, sometimes the clueless can say the most insulting things that they should know better. So, in this case, they deserve a smart little comeback to knock some sense into them.
I had a hard time coming up with some myself. They are not that great, I know. Some are borrowed from well known comebacks. Some of the insults I have taken from comments left by my readers (I love you guys!).

Here's a few:

"Turn up your hearing aid (or cochlear implant)!" 
Comeback: "Oh, like that's going to fix everything? It's my fault? Has it occurred to you that maybe YOU are the problem? Why don't you learn to speak more clearly (or if you sign - learn some signs)?"

Comeback 2: "What? I just turned off my hearing aid for good reason."

Comeback 3 (from a reader, thanks!):  "What for?" (give them The Look.)

"Stop saying "Huh? What? Eh?" all of the time, like you have no idea what is going on in the conversations. What is wrong with you?" 
Comeback:  "Oh, I forget sometimes that I am deaf (or hard of hearing). It is such an inconvenience for you, I know. It must be horrible. I'm sorry. I'll try to hear better next time. I don't know what is wrong with me sometimes." 

Comeback 2: "For the ten thousandth time, I am deaf (or hard of hearing, or whatever)! I tell you this over and over again, and yet you still don't get it. It is like you have no idea what is going on. I don't know what is wrong with you sometimes."

Comeback 3: "I'll try to wear a sign next time reminding you that I am deaf (or hard of hearing). Would you like me to explain to you what it means to be deaf (or hard of hearing)? You seem to have trouble understanding."

Comeback 4: "What was that? Huh? Eh? What? I'm sorry, but I am pretty much deaf to mean comments like the one you just made."
 
"Geez, why don't you ever listen to me? You always act as if you can't hear me half the times, but really I think you choose not to listen to me. It is so annoying!"
Comeback: "Because you obviously don't know me. If you did, you would know how to communicate with me. Want me to show you how?"

Comeback: 2 "You are annoying with your incessant whining about how I can't hear. Thanks for reminding me that you forget this sometimes."

Comeback: 3 "You obviously have never met or interacted with deaf or hard of hearing people. Want me to explain to you what it means to be deaf or hard of hearing?"

"You don't look deaf." 
Comeback: "Yeah, I try to blend in. Trying to keep it low key, you know? I don't want the others to find out just by looking at me."

Comeback 2:  "And you don't look (insert your own insult)."

Comeback 3: "What? I am baffled by your last statement. Really? Did you just say that? You care to repeat it again?" (Make them say it again and again, until they realize how insulting or idiotic that statement is).

To being yelled in your face: 
"I can't lipread your tonsils!" (provided by Dianrez, thanks!)


Any others?
Email me or leave a comment with some good comebacks for insults or mean remarks! If they are good, I'll add them here or in another post.

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