Effective Complaining

Sometimes I have students who will have problems or issues with someone for a specific reason. I will talk to them about how to talk with the person they have issues with in a mature and responsible way. One must be cordial, respectful, and calm when working with others to try to solve a problem. It also helps to be clear in explaining what the issue is and how you would like it resolved.  

For example, if a student has a problem with a teacher, I will encourage them to first calmly and clearly state what the problem is. The more specific, the better. For example, it would not help to yell in anger, "My teacher is a mean old woman! She makes fun of me all of the time! She should be fired!" It would be more helpful for the student to describe exactly what the teacher said or did that the student thought was problematic. No one will take someone who resorts to name calling while vaguely describing the issue, seriously. For the example I provided, it would be better to say, "When my teacher called on me today to answer a question and I answered it incorrectly, she laughed out loud and said, "You could not be more wrong! Geez, what is the matter with you?!" I thought she was disrespectful. It hurt my feelings and I would like for her to apologize." Note the difference? Which response do you think will be taken more seriously and bring the student closer to resolving the issue? 

Another tip I give to students, always say you were disappointed, not angry. It seems as if the word disappointed helps gets your point across more. I got this advice from another teacher I worked with in the past. In fact, an article from Woman's Day discussing how to complain effectively, points this out. 

I think the students I work with are capable of handling issues in a mature and rational manner, even the very young ones. Wouldn't it be great if there were classes they can take to learn how to complain and communicate their ideas more effectively? Adults could benefit from some classes as well, including myself. 

(e



What Teaching Reminds Me

When I am teaching as an itinerant teacher of deaf and hard of hearing students attending public schools, I am reminded of several things on a daily basis.

I am reminded of diversity. There are different hearing losses, different ways of communicating, different languages, different ways of learning, and different cultures, families, and backgrounds. No one is like me, grew up like me, or will learn like I do. We are not the same, except in that we just all want to be happy and loved.

I am reminded that not everyone has been so lucky to been able to pick up language effortlessly from the moment they were born. The students working hard on understanding the language used by the general population of where they live remind me of this. Students who did not have the advantage of naturally developing a first language remind me of this as they work on understanding phrases that are usually easily understood by other students 3 or 4 grades younger than them.

I am reminded that there is no such thing as stupid when it comes to learning. I am always inspired and encouraged when a student finally masters a skill or concept, even though it may seem very simple to many others who can learn the same thing within seconds. The students who finally mastered a seemingly easy skill worked harder than most people I know.

I am reminded of how hard work can pay off. It can be truly rewarding and life changing.

I am also reminded that not everything is perfect or will work out the way we would like it to.

I am reminded that failing can be the best thing that can happen to someone. But, it is always sad, at first.

Most importantly, I am always reminded that I do not know everything and that I have a lot to learn.

(e

I Don't Know What Happened and Neither Do You. So Please Be Quiet.

Sometimes issues or problems with a student, a staff member, or a parent will come up. If somehow I am involved with it or have to be, I try my best to focus only on the facts. It is not smart to immediately make assumptions and to form opinions, especially if you did not witness the issue take place. When someone decides to talk about the issues with others (when they shouldn't) and make it their business, word can spread fast and before you know it, the facts have been twisted and statements that are completely false are being made by those who had absolutely nothing to do with the matter.

I have bluntly told others, "You don't know what happened. I advise you not to talk about this to others. It is private information. It is not your business."

But, I know it is human nature to gossip and get involved with controversial issues that people don't know anything about. It is exciting and it momentarily gives people a sense of purpose, I suppose. I love discussing controversial topics, no doubt about that. I love hearing other people's opinions.

But when it is a private matter at work, and it is something I know little about, I will stay out of it. I don't have time to get involved, unless I have to or it is necessary. I wish others would do the same.

(e


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...